by Jaclyn M. Hawkes
Adult Historical Romance
November 15th 2013 by Spirit Dance Books LLC
November 15th 2013 by Spirit Dance Books LLC
Summary
They loved each other desperately.
Never in all the kingdom has there been a more brave and protective champion. Nor such a loyal and capable maiden.
He rescued her the first time when she was three years old in a killing storm. Years later, he was still occasionally rescuing her. 'Twas in him to be a hero, and she had a pure intrepid way of getting into the kinds of scrapes that took rescuing. With such a brawny, masculine guardian around, 'twould have been a fair pity to waste the gallantry anyway.
Their childhood friendship between two young peasants had grown into a devotion few are ever blessed to experience. It was strong enough to withstand all their dark age held—danger, feudalism, disease, and unfair oppression.
Or is it strong enough? They truly loved each other desperately.
They loved their kingdom more.
Praise for Warrior's Moon
"This book has adventure, memorable characters, and tons of action. There is even romance! I absolutely loved it!!!" ~Laura (Goodreads)
"I loved this book! Great characters, I love a strong female lead. I really enjoy all of Jaclyn Hawkes books, but I must say this in one of my favorites!" ~ KMon (Amazon)
Excerpt
Chantaya spent another restless night what with memories of being accosted and
then wondering why Peyton had pulled away from her so obviously. She wasn’t
sure if he was vexed with her, or just fatigued from worry and two late nights,
but he wasn’t his usual happy self and it in turn made her feel inexplicably
irritable. She couldn’t help but wonder if he was deeply regretting his kissing
her head when they were upset. She hoped not.
She’d
thought a lot about what her mother had said during their conversation about
romance and that last comment about being acquainted with lots of young men had
struck a chord with Chantaya, especially after how Peyton’s kiss had effected
her and now he’d pulled so hard away. Maybe her thoughts about Peyton becoming
more than brotherly were exactly opposite of what he was thinking or what he
wanted. She had no way of knowing except to know for sure he wasn’t happy with
something just now.
Deciding
that at fifteen, it was certainly time to begin the process of making sure she
knew what she preferred in a husband, she finished her morning chores and
decided to go into the village and do some studying on just what kind of man she
desired to marry. She stopped at the Wolfgars to see if either Peyton or
Tristan were around to go with her, but both of them were out helping their
father with a thatching job over east, so she pulled the hood of her cloak up
and set out on her own. After all, she was already older than her mother was
when she’d met her father and they’d met in a village. At a shoemaker’s shop,
if Chantaya remembered correctly.
She started
at the millers and picked up flour, but there were only the miller’s sons and
she knew from long experience she definitely wasn’t interested in ending up one
of their wives, not in this lifetime certainly. They were shy and backward and
nondescript and she hated the way they wouldn’t ever look at her when they said
something. She couldn’t sit across a breakfast table from that for life, that
was a sure notion.
Moving on
to the smithy, she dropped off the kettle that needed repairing and paused only
a moment to admire the brawny shoulders of the apprentice there before she
noticed the trouble the young man had with a skin condition on his face. No
doubt, the constant heat and perspiration from the fires made his skin worse,
but nevertheless, she didn’t think he was the one for her. Not when Peyton and
Tristan were both incredibly handsome and had superior shoulder muscles anyway.
She wondered if she should tell the smithy’s apprentice about making a balm of
bitterroot to smooth on his face of a night. ‘Twould certainly help with those
lesions if she could figure out a way to bring the subject up.
Shaking her
head at the thought, she turned next to the cobbler two shops down. She had no
notion if there were any young men here, because she so seldom purchased shoes,
but her mother’s needed repairing and Chantaya had to have a new pair for winter
anyway.
Stepping
into the door, she looked up and into a beady pair of eyes and was at once
wishing she had Peyton with her. The cobbler had to have been twenty five years
her senior, but that didn’t stop him from looking her up and down and then
grinning up at her almost leeringly. She quickly left the shoes to be repaired,
then stepped back out of the little shop where she paused on the stoop to roll
her eyes and take a deep breath. Heavens! Growing old alone like Mordecai was
looking better by the moment. This was the least enjoyable morning she’d had in
months.
She shifted
the heavy bag of flour to her other arm and flexed the elbow that had begun to
tire. She was only going on to the market. This inventorying of potential
husbands was dreadful and made her shoulders ache. She should have picked up
the flour last.
Stepping
inside, she selected a packet of needles, a spool of darning thread and some
lamp oil before glancing around the store in a half hearted attempt to take
stock of any young males, then rolled her eyes and even crossed them. Land
of Liverpool! The clerk was easily as wide as he was tall and he smiled up
at her with thick lips that bulged under a sparse collection of stringy,
intermittent, apricot colored whiskers. He pushed off of a low stool to stand,
set aside the pastry he was eating, wiped his hand on his trousers and asked if
he could be of assistance.
Oh,
gracious! She’d forgotten the Larimer’s son. He never even attempted to speak
to her when Peyton or Tristan was with her. She wanted to put a hand to her
forehead just at the thought of marriage to this rotund young . . . She wasn’t
even sure what to call him. Fellow maybe? He seemed nine years old, but then
he had those odious whiskers. What had she been thinking to come in here on a
husband scouting excursion. Oh, Chantaya! Spinsterhood it is for you!
Utter loneliness would be better than this.
Quickly,
she paid for her purchases and nearly leaped out the door and headed for home.
This was more than enough getting to know the available men. She’d stay
unmarried for the next several decades at least after this morning.
She met
Peyton coming down the cobbled street and she finally took a deep breath. My,
but he was the most refreshing sight she’d seen in ages. Tall and fit, bold and
handsome. Oh! And distressed about something. She finally took in his grimace
and wondered what had upset him as he strode up to her.
He
carefully took her bag of flour and glanced her up and down as if checking to
see if she was well and whole, then asked, “What are you doing, Chani? I’ve
been near all over the village looking for you.”
“I’ve
simply been making my needed purchases and errands. Pray, whatever is wrong,
Peyton?”
People were
watching the two of them and she turned and headed back down the way toward
their homes as his grimace deepened, and he asked, “I was just concerned.
You’ve been making purchases from every possible merchant in town? The
blacksmith, Chani? You don’t even own a horse. And alone? What’s gotten into
you? I thought you hated this kind of venture.”
She sighed
and rolled her shoulders. “Don’t I indeed. It’s been dreadful.”
“What has?
Has someone offended you? Tell me who and I’ll speak with them.”
“No, no,
no, Peyton. I’m well. It’s just . . . ” She hesitated and then admitted to
him, “My mother and I were just conversing the other day of how I should begin
to be acquainted with different boys . . . Well, men, so that I might . . .
Well, so that when I got married, eventually, in time, of course, I’d not ever
wonder if I’d chosen correctly. I was just fretting about that and decided that
since I needed these errands done anyway. . . And well . . . ”
Peyton
stopped dead still in the middle of the cobblestone street and turned to stare
at her with wide eyes. She finished lamely, “And, yes, well . . . Well, after
this morning, I think I’ll simply become a spinster. Like Mordecai. Well, not
that Mordecai is a spinster, but . . . Marriage is just now seeming to be a
life sentence of punishment. What? Why are you staring at me so, Pey?
What?”
“Married!
To the Shockleys? Or Quigley Larimer? Chantaya!”
He was
fairly shouting even though it wasn’t much louder than a whisper. She rolled
her eyes one more time and turned to continue walking down the street. He once
again fell into step beside her as they headed out of the village proper and she
said, “I know, Peyton. Why do you think I declared I’m to be a spinster? ‘Twas
a thoroughly discouraging experience, I can tell you. I can’t even conceive of
truly facing any of them across my porridge of a morning. Oh, can you imagine?
Ugh!”
Still
quietly, but very heatedly, he said, “No! I cannot imagine! Why under heaven
would you conceive of such a thing? And you’re fifteen. Why are you all of an
instant concerned with marriage?”
“Oh, stop
shouting. You’re being an old ogre.”
“I’m not
shouting in the least. Answer the question.”
“I’ll not
let you bully me, Peyton Wolfgar. Fifteen is young. I know that. But I have
to commence somewhere. My mother was married at sixteen. I’m concerned that .
. . ”
“Well, your
mother married far too young! You’re but a child. And you can’t go around
considering marrying the likes of Quigley! That’s revolting!”
At that,
she turned on him, ready to do battle, then reconsidered, and began to walk
again as she said, “Please, Peyton. You’ll make me heave my entire breakfast
onto the cobbles. Please. Don’t use the M word in the same conversation as the
Q word. ‘Twould make me nauseous.”
Leaning
close, he fairly spat, “That’s not the half of it, Chantaya Kincraig! Have you
stopped to consider what a marriage entails? Have you?”
She
sighed. “In truth, I’ve tried not to. It frightens the dickens out of me.
Would you please stop snapping at me, Peyton? I beseech you. I’m quite
frustrated as it is. I don’t deserve this. I did nothing wrong. Do you
suppose I wanted to go about this morning taking stock of all of the misfits?
It simply had to be done. Please, ‘twas dreadful enough as it was without you
haranguing me. I don’t understand why this morning has made you so
distressed.”
He stopped
again and stood, this time on the wooded path headed toward their homes. At
length, he simply asked, “Why?” He left the bag of flour balanced on his
shoulder and put out both of his large, calloused hands. “Why? Why today?
Pray. Help me understand why you would do something like this?”
His tone
had softened and for some reason that prompted the tears that had been
threatening all morning to well into her eyes. She looked aside and tried to
blink them away in embarrassment. She wasn’t usually a crier, but she’d felt
this way for two days now. He reached into his pocket and took out a
handkerchief, handed it to her, and said gently, “I’m sorry. Please forgive
me. But I must know. Just tell me, Chani. It’s me, Peyton. We’re friends.
Remember? Why are you worrying about marriage suddenly?”
She shook
her head and swiped sadly at her tears. “I have to, Peyton. Don’t you see?
I’m only fifteen, but I am fifteen. And not a single other male in this village
intrigues me. Not a one of them interests me enough to make me want to stop
fooling with a sword and the neighbor boys and worry about how my hair looks.
Doesn’t that seem like a problem to you? I’m supposed to get married to
someone, sometime. And like it! Do you know what married couples do, Peyton?
I don’t know about you, but those things concern me! And it might not be that
far off. My mother truly was less than a year older than I am right this very
moment. What am I going to do?” The last sentence came out sounding as
troubled as she felt and it brought on a whole new spate of tears she hurried to
mop.
He was
silent for so long without moving or doing anything that she finally looked up,
worried, but all he was doing was standing there with his face changing from
surprise to confusion to concern, to something that she wasn’t even sure what it
was, but suspected he was trying not to laugh at her and it made her mad. At
least that was better than heartbroken. In disgust, she turned and began to
stride up the pathway to her cottage, but he caught her arm and stopped her.
She spun
back on him. “What? I haven’t the time to stand here and endure you laughing
at me, Peyton. Let me go and see to things.”
“No.
Wait. Don’t be angry. I’m not laughing at you. I swear it. Well, I mean I am
smiling at you. But only because you’re adorable. I’m not belittling you.
You’re right. Marriage is a big thing. Huge. And truly, some of those things
married people do are uhm, uh, concerning. Well, in truth, it’s more that I can
hardly wait for those things, but I would guess I shouldn’t admit that, huh?
Sorry.” She rolled her eyes and looked up at the sky. He quit smiling and
loosened his hold on her arm and said, “What I’m trying to say, Chani, is that .
. . ”
He
hesitated and she looked back at him and he finally said, “I don’t have an idea
what I’m trying to say, Chani, except that . . . I think your hair is
beautiful, just the way it is.”
She quit
pulling at her arm and looked up at him in confusion. “What?”
“Your
hair. I think your hair is magnificent. Especially when it all comes loose and
hangs down your back like it does.”
“Peyton,
this isn’t about my hair. Haven’t you been listening to me?”
“Yes,
Chani, I have. But for the life of me, I don’t understand why all of a moment
of a Tuesday morning you need to go inspect all of the local drivel for
marriage. And what’s so wrong with the neighbor boys? You’ve never taken issue
with us before. I thought you liked me. Is there suddenly a
problem?”
She stomped
her bare foot. “Oh, Peyton, don’t you give me that! You know as well as I do
that I near worship you. But, what does that have to do with marriage? Or my
hair, for that matter?”
“Pray, you
tell me, girl. You’re the one who’s of a sudden desperately in need of
matrimony. Where did this come from anyway?”
She was all
ready to snap back at him and then instead, let out a long breath and her
shoulders slumped as she said, “The other night. At the tavern. They tried to
tell that man to stay away from me. That I was Peyton Wolfgar’s girl. And that
you would protect me from him. He didn’t listen, but that’s not the point. The
point is. I’m not your girl. I’m more your little sister who gets on your
nerves sixty three times a day, who you’re good to put up with and watch over.
I’m nobody’s girl. And even that’s not the point. The point is, there isn’t
anyone round here whose girl I’d care to be.
“Other than
you and Tristan, or maybe Tommy Bertram, but he’s simply like a charming puppy,
other than you two, I don’t even care that I’m nobody’s girl, ‘cause they’re all
morons and dimwits. But that’s not good. What if I turn out like Ingrande
Fergson? She’s getting to where she can scarce get round by herself, but
there’s no one to watch over her. And folks think she’s pure strange living all
alone all these years with only that ugly cat. That cat’s gonna die and then
where will she be? I don’t want to be like that.” She paused and looked down,
and added sadly, “But I don’t want to have to marry a dimwit.”
She stopped
and took a deep breath and looked up at him wishing the tears would just stop
already and was thoroughly taken aback when he set her flour sack down, came
close and wrapped both arms round her and started to laugh. A soft, warm, deep
chuckle that she could hear right through his chest that rested under her ear as
he held her. She didn’t know whether to be thoroughly offended or just bask in
his hug and trust the knowledge that he would never laugh at her mean
spiritedly.
While she
was still wondering how to feel, he pulled her even closer and said, “Chani,
Chani, Chani. What’s a body to do about you?”
She
sniffled and shook her head against his chest. “I don’t know. Even I don’t
know what to do about myself.”
He laughed softly again and said, “I don’t know either, girl, but I do know that if you go off and wed some squatty, corpulent dimwit just so you don’t end up like Ingrande, you’ll break my heart into ten million shards and I’ll pure waste away until I die with loneliness. They’ll bury me up next to your father and your baby sister.”
He laughed softly again and said, “I don’t know either, girl, but I do know that if you go off and wed some squatty, corpulent dimwit just so you don’t end up like Ingrande, you’ll break my heart into ten million shards and I’ll pure waste away until I die with loneliness. They’ll bury me up next to your father and your baby sister.”
She
completely stilled in his arms for a long, long moment and then finally, pulled
away from him slightly so she could look up at him in absolute confusion.
What under heaven did he mean by that? He simply looked down at her with
those sweet, brown eyes that she wanted to lose herself in and then finally,
totally at a loss as to his meaning, she asked, “What does that mean,
Peyton?”
He gave her
a smile that seemed almost a little sad and gently smoothed a tear off of her
cheek bone with his thumb as he asked, “Do you truly not understand what it
means, Chani? You know me better than I know myself.”
Shaking her
head, she sighed tiredly. “I don’t know what I understand just at this moment,
Pey. All I know is that this whole growing up notion frightens me immeasurably
and the thought of facing all of it without you makes me want to magically turn
back time until I’m seven again and you’re making mud pastries with me at the
pond. Wouldn’t it be delightful if we didn’t have to grow up and make
decisions?”
“No.
Because I do want to grow up with you, Chani. Truly, I want to grow old with
you. You needn’t face anything without me. Why would you? We’re best
friends. That’s what friends do. They stay together. They cover the chinks in
each other’s armor and watch over each other. Always.”
“But what
about marriage, Peyton? You must recognize that we can’t simply be best friends
forever. What would our spouses say? You’ve seen how distraught Mrs. Darnell
becomes when her husband goes drinking and begins to converse with that blonde
woman he almost married instead of her. I don’t believe there’s truly room for
a husband and a best friend in a marriage. ‘Tis about one too numerous for a
couple. It couldn’t be harmonious.”
His voice
softened. “What if the best friend was the husband? Wouldn’t that be
harmonious?” She was searching his eyes almost desperately, trying to figure
out what he was intimating and he seemed to understand that as he went on,
“Chani, is there no way you could ever consider marrying me? Someday. Not
right now. When you’ve had a chance to grow up a portion. Certainly, you look
grown up. Unbelievably so, but fifteen is quite young. Is there no way we
could simply keep on being best friends and someday go beyond that?” He grinned
at her and added, “You wouldn’t have to marry a dimwit. Or grow old with only
an ugly cat.”
She
hesitated for a minute while she tried to figure out if he was saying the same
thing she was hearing and then asked, “But, Peyton, aren’t we truly too good of
friends to get married? I mean, we know everything about each other. Even the
dreadful stuff. And indeed I do get on your nerves sixty three times a day.
You can’t deny it.”
“Chani, who
has the strongest marriage we know?”
“Your
parents. Why?”
“Well,
don’t you think they’re best friends and know even the yucky stuff?” She
nodded. “And you only get on my nerves seven times a day and that’s actually
two times less than I get on your nerves and it makes for interesting
conversation. Don’t you think? We still seem to enjoy being with each other
enough to do it every single day for hours and hours.”
She was
thoroughly surprised with where this discussion was going, but finally got brave
enough to ask, “But what about the marriage part, Peyton? The only in marriage
part. Wouldn’t we want to be able to someday do that kind of thing with whoever
we marry? Otherwise, we’d never have any children. Don’t you ever want
children? We don’t even kiss each other. We don’t even hold hands.”
At that,
for the first time in this conversation, Peyton looked uncomfortable and
Chantaya felt an incredible disappointment settle into her stomach as he
actually blushed and then looked skyward for a second before he answered, “About
that . . . ” He still hesitated and then looked back down at her, gave her a
crooked smile and said, “Uh, Chantaya, would you be completely disgusted with me
if I said that, uh . . . On second thought, maybe I shouldn’t be quite that
honest with you. How about if we try this? Perhaps we could simply keep being
friends like we always have been and maybe, in time, we’ll decide that we want
to kiss each other.”
She shook
her head. “Peyton, if we’re going to actually have this conversation at all,
shouldn’t we be absolutely honest with each other? Always? There’s no way I’m
going to talk about someday marrying and in the same discussion agree not to
always tell each other the truth. That couldn’t make for a strong
couple.”
“For the
most part, ’tis true, Chantaya. But there probably comes a point where people
who love each other, but aren’t actually wed, shouldn’t speak concerning some
things because it could be dangerously provocative. I’m not sure if you
comprehend what I mean. But there’s also a point where maybe we shouldn’t speak
of some things because it might frighten one of us.”
“Which one
of us?”
“You one of
us.”
“Why
wouldn’t it frighten you?”
He gave her
that grin again. “Uh, for the reason that . . . Uhm, remember when I said I’m
rather looking forward to some of those things in marriage? I suppose I lean
toward being a rogue, because I, uh, I imagine those things are going to be
wonderful! Sorry. Just being honest.”
She could
feel her eyes widen and said hastily, “I think you’re right. Maybe we shouldn’t
talk about this. One of us is definitely frightened.”
He put a
gentle hand to her cheek and touched her softly, then shook his head. “Try not
to be, Chani. None of this should frighten us. It should make us happy and
excited. We do love each other. This isn’t anything more than the natural
progression of a lifelong friendship. We know each other. We know we can trust
each other, no matter what. We like each other. We have fun with each other.
In truth, is there even any other option? Can you truly say you could walk away
from me someday without looking back?”
Leaning her
cheek into the palm of his hand, she thought about that and then met his eyes
and shook her head. Tears welled into her eyes again as she whispered,
“Never.”
That made
him smile as he whispered back, “Me either.”
For a long,
long moment, they stood there looking into each others eyes in the dappled
sunshine of the path and then Peyton slowly lowered his head and gently kissed
her once on the mouth, ever so softly. Raising his head, he leaned close again
and kissed her once more on the soft spot of her temple and said, “See, it might
not be too bad.”
About the Author
Jaclyn M. Hawkes grew up in Utah with 6 sisters, 4 brothers and any number of pets. (It was never boring!) She got a bachelor’s degree, had a career and traveled extensively before settling down to her life’s work of being the mother of four magnificent and sometimes challenging children. She loves shellfish, the out of doors, the youth and hearing her children laugh. She and her fine husband, their family, and their sometimes very large pets, now live in a mountain valley in northern Utah, where it smells like heaven and kids still move sprinkler pipe.
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